Because of Alegra doing a vlog of our family, I really don't need to post too much on this blog. Every now and then, I get a hankering to write what I'm feeling and being guided in. So, here it is. My life as of late. My real, not perfect family vlog material, struggles in life.
We all want everyone to see our best and can usually get by with that happening. It's easier to fake happiness and success than truly let others see what's going on. Some people have no problem showing others all their drama, but not me. I like to look like I have it all together. I have the perfect big family, who are home schooled, always get along, my husband is always perfect, we never bicker, and there isn't a day that goes by that I feel down. REAL LIFE isn't like that.
I'm finally feeling like I have a grasp of my life right now, this week. You see, a couple weeks back, I had a break down, full on anxiety attack, couldn't control my thoughts kinda situation. My husband held me while I cried, sang worship music at my request before bed to help calm me, and I'm sure spent time in prayer while driving around for work. Does this look perfect? No. But it was real life for me. There were several things that set me off- finances, sickness in family, marriages falling apart, children struggling, and not feeling secure in where life is at for our family right now. What??? How could I feel that way when my little family seems so perfect?
Real life. It took me a good couple weeks to finally break out of the horrible pit in my stomach and tightness in my chest at any random thought of uncertainty. If my strength comes from God then why am I so unstable feeling? I blamed spiritual warfare, fear, and worry. I'd say all three played a part. If I were to say that all of life is perfect for me, I'd be fake. If I were to say that I hold myself together always, I'd be fake. If I were to say that I don't struggle with my husband and children, well, more fakeness.
We all have struggles and real life happenings. Don't be so ashamed or proud that you can't let those struggles show some, to allow others to help you. Don't feel like you'll never have things right. Well, you might be right on that one, but how do we choose to handle not having things right all the time is the key. Do we remember that God truly does care for us and takes care of our every need? Do we know that He provides what we need not what we want or even think we need? In the moments of darkness He will show Himself. He will remind you that He is near. He will remind you that He wants you to just trust Him if you'll let Him be in control. Control. Boy isn't that a tough one. When I can't keep things under control or some situations are completely out of my control, but they still affect me and my heart, that's really hard for me. Am I remembering that He holds the world in His hands and has all things in place just where He wants them?
Oh, the lessons. Oh, the hardships. Oh, how He loves you and me. Real life. Don't feel ashamed of your struggles. Pick yourself up and take one step forward, then another, until you're out of that pit. It's not a fun place to be in. Sometimes the enemy uses it to really mess some BIG plans up. Take charge of letting God win the victory in your life. It takes some effort sometimes to let Him have His way. It's totally worth it though.
Real life. It can stink. It can be hard. It can cause lots of questioning of why. It can make us proud. It can make us fake. It can break us. In the brokenness, let it cause us to get up and press forward til we reach the next step. Even if that next step is saying "yes" to something that seemed so difficult to do. We all have struggles. Don't be fake to hide them. Be real and reach out for encouragement. Share your real life experiences with someone else who just might need to know that it's ok and that nobody has a perfect life.
