Fire Proof Your Marriage- a fad or for life?

Last night some lady friends of mine got together and cried through, I mean watched (I was the only who cried I think) Fire Proof. I have heard so many wonderful things about this movie and after watching it I can see why, however there are a couple of twists that I want to add to it.

The movie as a whole was great with obviously a message that husbands and wives need to hear these days. I loved that they did put so much emphasis on the fact that change needed to happen. One or the other of them couldn't just buy the flowers, do the dishes, make dinner, run errands to help the other one out, call just to see how your favorite person is doing, etc. and the marriage miraculously heals itself. There is definitely a change in the heart that has to take place for all that to actually come together and be worth the effort. It's not the acts that do the healing but our Father in heaven, and the movie did a great job at bringing that out. But because the husband did so many acts to win his wife back over, how many people are going to think that that is all it's going to take? The problem I have with this movie is that it will become a fad to do all these things, but the real issue won't be taken care of. The real issue of the heart.

Most of you know that Jonathon and I went through a similar situation as the couple in the movie, however, it was a little worse with different circumstances. So, when I type these things out and think back over the movie and back over our actual experience of marriage, I realize that so much has to be done in the heart for the real change to take place. It can't just be acts. Now, once the heart is changed and gotten right, then if the acts don't come, how will it still continue to be a good marriage if the two are not working together to serve and love each other? There is a book called the Five Love Languages that helped us immensely in seeing that we don't even love each other the same or have the same needs when it comes to how we feel loved by the other. This helped us to see that we needed to seek after and study (like the movie talks about) what the other sees as loving and act in that way.

This brings me to the second point that I really love about this movie. When the dad is talking to his son about that change of heart needing to be God, and that's the only way his acts will be truly meaningful to his wife, I found a correlation to the Bible and how we are to live in that marriage relationship with God. The dad talked of how God has higher standards than we have or could ever comprehend. And then he brought up the fact that we shouldn't break His commandments. Great point!..because obeying those commandments are the acts that God feels loved by. John 14:21 says "He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him". We have the heart change in realizing that we need Him, and then by our acts and obedience to what He says we should do, He sees that we love Him. Another thing, during that talk between the dad and his son, was the dad mentioning that it's not how we see it, but how God sees it that matters. Caleb thought he was okay because he was a good person, but clearly that isn't enough. There are many things that we do that I'm afraid we don't really step back and look at it as God would see it. How about His commandments for instance? Do we truly keep and obey all of them? One that we struggled with was keeping the Sabbath day holy. Were we keeping HIS Sabbath day,which is Friday evening to Saturday evening, or the sabbath day of the world which says it's Sunday? It's not how we see it, but how He sees it and how His Word clearly lays it out for us. What about traditional holidays that are steeped and rooted in pagan worship? Does He glory in those things that we claim are "christian" or in the feasts that He has clearly layed out for us in His Word?

So, my challenge after watching this great movie is to truly look at your heart. Is it where it needs to be first of all with God, the Creator of all things, are you acting in love to the Creator in the way that He says in the Scriptures to love Him, and are you looking at things from the way you see them or from the way He sees them? When we surrender ourselves and our agendas to Him and allow Him to be the work in us, then all of our relationships will line up and our steps will be more peaceful. That peace only comes from Him and obeying all that He desires of us to obey.

For those of you with rocky marriages, keep pressing on, don't give up, and do what it takes in your heart to truly get the long lasting affects of a wonderful marriage.